Sep 04

from The Yearbook, Holly Bourne

“The group chat should essentially just have been titled Adam breathed—applaud.” p29

Was anyone else out there the invisible little sister?

“The end of childhood — realizing adults don’t know what the hell they’re doing.”  p55

“My future wasn’t something the family ever really discussed.  I guess I was supposed to just figure that out for myself, apply for a loan myself, take myself on open days.  Then maybe mention my life-changing decision one night when there wasn’t anything too good on the television.”  p135-6

“Like, we only get one life.  One.  One opportunity at every moment we are given …” p189

“… life is just a bunch of decisions that make you who you are.”  p189

“You don’t realize how toxic it is [your ‘home’ life] until you get out. … We think it’s normal, because it is to us.” p229

Yes.  YES.  It’s not.  Normal.  Get out and make your own normal.  As soon as you can.

“… if you’re told the same story over and over about who you are … it starts to feel true, and therefore it starts to become true …” p404

“… they’d rather feel important than feel happy. … And they don’t mind ruining other people’s happiness in their quest to be important …”  p405

Sep 04

Women’s Career Dies in Childbirth

Woman’s Career Dies In Childbirth

Aug 21

from Pain and Prejudice: What Science Can Learn about Work from the People Who Do It, Karen Messing

First, note that the title really should be “…from the Women Who Do It”

Chap 2 “The Invisible World of Cleaning” – very enlightening for those who’ve never had a cleaning job, including about the idiocy of those in management positions

“… the village where the women’s backs were all bent because their brooms were too short …”

“We concluded by suggesting that shoe who designed and built the train cars be required to ensure that their components could be easily cleaned.” p26

The bit about the one-size-does-NOT-fit-all garbage bags is sheer insanity—that has caused so much unnecessary pain!  p29  (And yeah, if they’d been men, changes would have been made.)

And the idiot who thought mirrors on the walls in the lobby would be cool … yeah.  He obviously never had to clean a wall of mirrors.  p30

“Cleaners … were almost never consulted on the choice of flooring, wall, and furniture surface materials, yet they were blamed when the new black, rought-textured office furniture always looked dusty.”  p30 

DUH.

“… and would have suggested that they add a chapter on design of toilets.” p30 

Indeed.  Something I have often thought of, on my hands and knees, trying to clean around those knobby things and reach around the back and along all the curves and grooves …  Why couldn’t the whole assemblage be contained in an easily wiped box thing?

Chap 3 “Standing Still – another great chapter that every bank manager and grocery store manager should read.

The whole ‘clerks and cashiers must stand’ is crazy and apparently only North American crazy.  They can sit (ad presumably do their jobs just as well) in Greece, France, Italy, China, Sweden, Peru, Brazil, Thailand, and Cameroon.  Even here in North America, toll booth clerks are able to do their jobs quite well while sitting down, so why the fuck do grocery cashiers have to stand 8 hours at a time??

“… the owner had bought beautiful new dishes that were much heavier than the old ones and their arms, shoulders, and backs were suffering.  It was the same phenomenon we had seen with the cleaners—their supervisors, following their aesthetic impulses, had with one thoughtless act worsened the waiters’ everyday working conditions.”  p53

Thoughtless.  Every day.

“She [a hotel cleaner] also suggested that management think twice about such practices as offering clients with young children complimentary jigsaw puzzles with dozens of tiny pieces …” 61

DUH.

And the bits about attendants in nursing homes … p67-8

Aug 16

How would that matter indeed.

“What do you think she would be like in bed?”
“I’ve nevr met her.”
“How would that matter?”

So telling.

Jul 26

Hacks – highly recommended

But if you’re not into it, at least watch episode 8 of season 1.

(on Crave TV)

Jul 24

from Fraternity Gang Rape, Peggy Reeves Sanday

“Rape [is] rare in 47 percent of the societies studied and common in 18 percent of them. … In the more rape-prone societies there [is] greater sexual segregation, male social dominance, interpersonal violence, and the subordination of women” p4

“… in the United States, which is in all likelihood one of the most rape-prone societies in the world.” p9

“… the attitudes, language, behavior, and literacy levels of these [i.e., American] fraternity members are identical to those of young, underprivileged criminals” p23

“According to a recent study of adolescents, aged fourteen to eighteen, ‘more than half the boys and nearly half the girls thought that it was okay for a male to force (that is, rape) a female if he was sexually aroused by her'” p54

What?  What?  Parents, teachers, are you fucking clueless?  Or just incompetent?

“… compassion for women implies castration” p63

And they say men are the rational ones.

And re “working a ‘yes’ out” … it’s not that women are so weak-willed; it’s that men have the patriarchy behind them because/so they speak with such authority.  So ‘You know you want it’ is as convincing as ‘You need to replace the exhaust system’.

And on that note, ‘You know you want it’ suggests that they think consent is important, while at the same time, using alcohol, drugs, and intimidation suggests that they think consent isn’t  important.

Again, they say men are the rational ones.

“Only once in these discussions with fraternity brothers, which spanned a two-year period, did any group of brothers mention love in connection with sex.” p143

Women, take note.

“The responsibility always belongs to the woman, never to the brothers [referring to things like ‘she brought it on herself, by the way she was dressed or acting…’] … Such attitudes display an infantile, concrete perception of responsibility [and I’d add one inconsistent with the view of break and enter and theft and vandalism, none of which become suddenly acceptable if someone leaves their door unlocked] … These men are not reflective; they are primarily reactive …” p145

“The price female students pay for their passive acceptance of the inhumanity of casualization [of sex] is an even greater sense of low self-esteem. … [W]hat women students think of as reckless freedom is in reality acceptance of t… gender inequality …” p218

“… she was surprised at the amount of time girls devoted to ‘primping’ starting at 6pm on a Friday night to leave around 10:30pm for a fraternity party” p204

Seriously?  How shallow and superficial do you have to be to spend so much time on your appearance?

“Primping four hours before going to a party is flight from authenticity in the expenditure of capital to sell the self through the body.”  p218

Okay, it’s that too.

“Verbal consent is neither prudish nor puritanical.  it can be highly erotic.”  p233

Yes.  Yes.

Jul 06

aurora linnea’s review of Laura Lecuona’s “Gender Identity: Lies and Dangers

Excellent and clarifying summary and review of Lecona’s book (and gender and sex and why it’s such an issue …).

We Just Can’t Shut Up About Gender: A Review of Gender Identity: Lies and Dangers, by Laura Lecuona

“…sex is a biological fact while gender is patriarchal fiction; the gender system is a hierarchy, not a binary; persons taking on a “gender identity” affiliate themselves with sexist stereotypes, not any innate bodily reality; it is wrong to perform medical experiments on children in the service of “congruence” with regressive cultural ideals; males are not female and remain members of the dominant sex class regardless of how they “identify,” continuing to pose the very same very real threats to women and girls as do their more straightforward (or less deluded) brothers.”

“Put bluntly, “gender” makes feminism impossible.” [but read that whole paragraph, para 5, to see how that’s the summary sentence]

“To bring on the return to a clear-eyed view of the status quo, Lecuona advises that we as feminists quit talking about “gender.” Instead, we’d do well to reacquaint ourselves with the reality-based terminology of our foresisters: sex and sexism, sex roles and sex class, sexist stereotypes, sexual equality, male supremacy and female subordination.” Yes. YES!!

Jul 06

Men and Women in the 21st century

None of these quotes (all from The Unmade Bed by Stephen Marche) are representative of what the book’s about, but they do reveal, perhaps unintentionally, Marche’s subtitle, “The messy truth about men and women in the 21st century”.

“Eventually, David Granger, the editor-in-chief of Esquire, read something I’d written for the Toronto Star and called to ask me if I wanted a column in his magazine.”  p42

It’s stuff like that that sends me into a rage.  Thinking back to the twenty or thirty queries I sent out, each with five to ten pieces …  And I didn’t even get a reply.  Except for one, in which I was told that one had to work as a reporter for ten years or so before one is offered a column.  (Apparently not.)  Marche doesn’t recognize that if the Star piece had been written by Stephanie Marche, Granger would most likely not have contacted him.  It’s quite possible Granger wouldn’t even have read the piece.  Quite possibly because it would never have appeared in the Star in the first place.  The ‘Jane/John’ studies go back decades (what ‘John’ writes it taken more seriously and given higher value than what ‘Jane’ writes, even though they’re identical) and was just recently validated by the Martin and Nicole thing (https://www.elle.com.au/culture/news/male-and-female-email-signature-sexism-experiment-8328/).

“Every fourteen-year-old boy with an Internet connection has seen a woman anally penetrated with a baseball bat.”  p110

Seriously?  Well, no wonder then.  There’s no way women are ever going to be taken seriously, for their abilities and aspirations.  Not until pornography is illegal (which is, really, a no-brainer, given hate speech laws).  Until then, women, don’t waste your time.  (And, men, why aren’t you trying to get it illegalized?  Do you not see the damage it’s doing to you as well?  Y’all can’t even have pleasurable consensual sex with a real woman anymore.)  And, women, I guess it’s fair to say that every time you meet a man, assume something like that is going through his mind.  And act accordingly.  (And men, don’t you even think of complaining about that.)

“Virtually every feminist scholar and female critic of any kind has to endure outright threats of physical harm.”  p152

And y’all wonder why we hate you.  Get a clue.

“The typical eleventh grade boy writes at the same level as an eighth grade girl.”  p164

How is it then that they become our supervisors??  Ah.  Because they can’t see any one of without picturing us giving some dick a blowjob.  And it’s because they play by different rules, rules whereby it’s okay to exaggerate, to lie, to cheat, to bribe, to threaten.

Jul 05

from Pretending, Holly Bourne

“You are a fucking disgrace.  You have RAPED someone you claim you love and now dare to be upset that she’s upset about it.  Why are you all such dicks?  What’s wrong with you?  WHAT The ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? …” p222

“This is how it feels when someone doesn’t stop, I say to him.  You don’t like it, do you?  You don’t like it at all, you pathetic piece of shit.”  p246

“YES, I KNOW NOT ALL OF YOU DO IT, BUT ALL OF YOU CAN DO IT. THAT’S The POINT; THAT’S The FUCKING POINT.

            The fear is always there. The threat is always there.  Because, really, unless you are a fucking championship kick-boxer or something, if you are ever alone with a man, all he has to do is decide to do it and he’ll be able to. …

            If only they could have a day of feeling as scared as we do.  Please just let them have one day.  Of not having the power, of us having it instead.  …”  p247

“I wasn’t crazy … You made me crazy.” p252

“You don’t see a problem with a man who probably hasn’t ever been violated getting to decide what counts as a violation? … ” p272

“It’s the violation that’s the violence, don’t you see?  It’s knowing your boundaries mean bugger-all that’s the trauma—that anyone can touch you, that how you feel about it doesn’t count.  That’s the trauma.  That’s the violence. …” p272

Jul 01

A quick note about sexual harassment

Annoyance is the least of it. Especially when it happens in the workplace, it’s distracting; let’s just get the job done.

Then there’s the disgust, the eew factor, of a man jiggling his crotch, for example, while looking at us. We do not find that appealing; we are not aroused by that.

Then there’s the insult: to be always sexualized as if there’s nothing else to oneself.

Then there’s the intimidation: if this, then what next?

Men, do you get all this? When you make sexual comments, when you brush up against us, etc., etc.,?

(Note that ‘compliment’ isn’t on the list. AT ALL.)

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